Yvonne reflects on an uplifting experience with students
Yvonne Joye from St John’s De La Salle Retreat Centre in Dublin has reflected on a very uplifting experience that highlights just how rewarding it can be for educators in our District, and how we can learn from the young people entrusted to our care.
"I had the best day at work this week and that is saying something because I love my work.
We operate out of the Retreat Centre in Ballyfermot in Dublin. We work with children and young adults, exploring their faith, having the chats, working on their well-being and opening up a toolbox of life skills for them to use in facing their challenges long after they leave the room. No day is the same because each day brings a new group of individuals through the door. Even though each group comes in their given uniform, are the same age and run to the same schedule, no student in any group is the same and no group is uniform. They come with their individual vulnerabilities, life experiences and hidden fears.
And hidden is the key term here. Young people today hide so much of themselves.
The biggest challenge we face in our work is the side look of one student to another, the cynical raised eyebrow when someone is speaking and the palpable terror of judgement by their peers. Taylor Swift or Cristiano Ronaldo could walk into the room and yes there would be great excitement - for ten minutes. After that the acute awareness of one another would take over again and become the dominant force in the room again. And it is a force.
But that’s the job. In the short day we have with these young people, we have to penetrate that barrier, even if it’s just a seed we plant. How that seed takes root, we will never know, we can only hope that it does and that it will serve and sustain them some, in times to come.
The best thing about the work we do is that not one moment is wasted, superficial or cosmetic. It is real-life stuff with the next generation and it’s our privilege to do it day in, day out. So, for me to say I had the best day at work this week, is saying something.
This week, we had a small group come in from a school in an under-privileged area. It was the students’ choice to come, hence the small group. Frequently, the duvet is the form of well-being students opt for when the choice is theirs. I had six students in my room, Conor, my co-facilitator, had seven in his. And so began our extraordinary day.
There was no bravado, no performance and no sidelong glances from anyone. There was no judgement, no peer pressure and no clowning. They were a mixed group who came out of curiosity; curiosity about the day and curiosity about each other. They didn’t hide themselves or their stories, yet they didn’t seek the stage or look for the limelight. They eschewed their lunch break, to continue the conversation. I cannot put my finger on it but both Conor and I felt it, even though we were in separate rooms with separate groups; it was as though we were both in receipt of the service we normally give.
I cannot reveal their stories but know that some of those young people experienced more trauma in their 17 years, than both Conor and I have in our entire lives. They weren’t even friends with each other, they called themselves acquaintances. They brought their problems to the table but they also brought their resolutions; their motivation was to help one another navigate the storms. This was not a therapy session; this was a resolution drive.
To evidence just one of the many powerful wisdoms my group shared with me that day, and I am at liberty to do so, one lad discussed his anxiety at being in large groups. Another lad asked him if he used reason or excuse to get out of those situations. When I asked him to expand on what he meant by that, he said we often use excuses to avoid what we fear – why can we not just give our reason instead? Let's just rip off the band-aid and be real”
Last Wednesday was the best day at work; a day when I was the only student in the room."
